I Love Networking, Except When I Don’t

Although I usually love networking, like most people, I sometimes find myself in networking situations where I simply have no motivation. It feels wrong and goes poorly when the people there can’t help me with any of my goals.

This may sound selfish but keep in mind: networking takes time and effort. Especially if you’re someone who doesn’t enjoy it, it’s tough to justify if it isn’t likely to yield anything you value.

Also, this attitude is only selfish if you have selfish goals. If, however, your goals include things like:its-who-you-know

  • make friends
  • build community
  • find people who need your help
  • find people to work with in service of a worthy cause

then what’s wrong with being targeted in your networking?

How To Find The Right People

Being targeted is, in fact, the answer to this problem. To avoid wasting time in a room full of the wrong people, be strategic when choosing where to spend your networking time. Here are some tips on how:

Step 1: Identify your Goals

In order to figure out who you want to connect with, figure out what you want out of your connections. Are you looking for:

  • Employment opportunities?
  • Community involvement?
  • Exposure to different points of view?
  • New employees or service providers?
  • Friends?
  • A romantic partner?
  • Other?

It’s ok to have more than one goal, but taking a little time to articulate them is the first step towards finding the people who will help you reach those goals.

Step 2: Find Hubs

In social-speak, a hub is something that brings a lot of people together. Hubs can be organizations, individuals, events, publications – anything that draws in a lot of people with something in common. Hubs are a great tool to find people who can help you reach your goals. Engaging with the right hub is like having the crowd tailored to fit you.

Once you’ve found a hub or two that’s aligned with your goals, you’re ready to make the most of them and start racking up the connection wins. A few possible examples:

  • If you’re looking to get to know your neighbours, attending an event put on by the local neighbourhood or community association is a natural first step. If no events are scheduled, you might reach out to the group anyway. A coffee with one of the organizers could yield a very rich connection, and lead to more through suggestions and introductions
  • If you’re looking for someone to work with, industry events for your field (or the field you’re selling to) might be the most fertile ground to identify good candidates. Professional associations often host events, as do industry publications
  • If you want more friends to hang out with, pick an area that interests you and seek out groups/events/individuals who are highly involved in that world. You might start by browsing Meetup.com: it’s full of groups based on everything from rock climbing to art to coffee.

Step 3: Be Ruthless

If you can find events or individuals that deliver the best connections for you personally, why would you waste your time anywhere else?

Don’t feel guilty about declining invitations to join groups or events that aren’t a fit for you. Good networking isn’t about meeting everyone in the known universe. It’s about developing a web of connections where you fit, where you can give and receive support in a healthy and productive way. Not everyone is going to belong in your web, and you don’t belong in everyone else’s. That’s natural, and that’s ok.